Baby shower

Love me some baby! But when the baby is going to be yours it's even better! This past weekend I got to sit and enjoy one of the cutest baby showers I've ever seen, lots of friends and family, and yummy treats and cake. All for ME! That part always makes me nervous but the setting was so layed back and outdoors that everyone just enjoyed each other and I felt no pressure to make a certain face per gift I opened ( truth, awkward face when you don't like a gift) 

My two best friends and sister threw me a beautiful and simple summer shower and I couldn't have been happier or more blessed. 

Enjoying this fourth pregnancy with my close friend Kourtney and my sister Kaylyn is pretty cool too- Kourtney and I shared a pregnancy with my third, her first child. It's been 6 yrs since then and I never in a thousand years thought we'd do it again or that I'd get to be pregnant with my sister, who's on her second. 

My bestie! Prayed with me for a year about my desire to have another baby when the odds weren't looking in my favor;) encouraged me and was an example to me as a mom, friend, and running pregnant which challenged me to do the same and stay in the best shape ever for this little girl- 

And Laurie, who opened her home and heart to host this blessed event and made us feel welcomed and spoiled! 

Thank you everyone, I will forever cherish this day and these memories. 

God bless and enjoy your summer! 

Prednisone free!

As many of you know Judah my 11 yr old son was diagnosed with Nuphrotics Syndrome this past November. We were told so much information in such a little amount of time all we knew for sure to do was Pray. 

When we left the hospital we had a few instructions and details to change in our family and daily lives : 

1- LOW SODIUM DIET 

I'm going to nicely tell you right now that MANY people gave their opinions and showed us their low sodium diets and it was a JOKE! Low sodium is not what you read on the front of the box, it's a serious life change and grocery budget killer! 

2- NO SCHOOL OR CHURCH for a season. Judahs immune system was shot and was going to be such for a season while on the prednisone. Meaning that the common cold of flue was said to put him in the hospital or even kill him. Our only choice was to seperate him the best we could till we knew we were in the clear and he was strong enough to fight the germs. So for three months we home schooled and watched TCC live stream from our couch. Thankful for technology we were able to stay connected. 

3- SCALES AND DIPS

Judah now had to be weighed daily and have a urine dip screen from home to monitor his levels. This isn't hard it's just another step to be taken. 

4- FLUID RESTRICTION 

you don't realize how much you want dorm thing till you can't have it. Because his kidneys couldn't process correctly his fluid was spilling into his body causing swelling, so part of this process is to restrict any and all fluids to very little a day. 

5-MAJOR EMOTIONS/SIDE EFFECTS

 Prednisone is a super strong steroid that does its job and kills good in its wake. We had emotions all over the joint, and because of the high dose we also had to add eye check ups every three months for preventative care, along side the kidney check ups. PUFFY cheeks. Wowza tell an 11yr old boy that his face and body will swell up and people will stare and friends will question why. He was and is a trooper and honestly handled it all so well with grace and peace that I believe family support and the Lords grace took major parts in. 

I bring all this up to say: JUDAH IS NOW PREDNISONE FREE! We've been on a slow decline (taper) since his release and although they told us to prepare for him to be in and out with relapse, he has had NOT A SINGLE ONE! He has maintained his diet, controlled his kidneys, held his head up, and stuck with it. As a family we changed the way we live life on the go, no more fast food (special occasions only) healthier and more active than before we have grown so much as a family unit and have learned to stick together and lift each other up. Judah will out grow this and he will be comepletely healed, for now he is off meds and looks amazing! And I'm super proud of him!;) 

 We are never alone when Gods on our side! Stick with it, doctors are a wonderful help to us along side of prayer and believing. Have a BLESSED DAY! 

As the months go on....

When I started running a few years back I read up on all the magazine articles and would changed my diet or way of attack accordingly. When my best friend got pregnant and she was reading up on all the pregnant running tips and techniques I was following her crazy self through pregnancy while running, I was shocked and amazed and dumb founded,often on what our bodies can and will do when taken care of correctly. She motivated me to do pregnancy differently if I was to ever be given that blessed chance again... 

And here we are! 

This is where I want to take you to giggle land. I can barely look at myself this am as its Saturday (my long run day) except SERIOUSLY let's be real, my long runs range from 3-5 mls these days.aghhhhh... However I hear this sweet annoying voice in my head (my best friend) telling me it's ok! " Your one of the 10% of pregnant people that run!" "You can do it, just one week at a time" or " remember you listen to your body and baby and you can be done when you need to be done" 

All of these are true! All of these are wonderful encouraging, uplifting, piles of ... Hahahah 

have you ever ran with an extra 20-30 lbs attached to the front of your body? HOLY FREEKING COW! Yes COW!! That's what I feel like. Utters to Timbuck-Too, a belly the size of a beast, and feet and calves that ache and complaine after every adventure out. 

I used to wake up 15 min before a run, brush my teeth, grab my clothes, grab a banana and head out the door. 

Now 32wks pregnant I set my alarm for  AN HOUR ahead of time, ROLL out of bed, yes ROLL, cause we pregnant people arnt suppose to use all our stomache muscles ensuring we don't tear them?! So I roll out of bed, slowly brush my teeth and get dressed, grab a bowl of oatmeal, ( let's add here this is another 10 min process of cooking real oatmeal) and of course a small glass of water and a cup of caffeine. This is a whole flipping production and full breakfast?! How the heck can a person run with all that in their stomache?  OH let's add the tiny glass of orange juice that yells at me to drink it also! 

 Then while all that is cooking and waiting I have the privilege of KT taping my shins that hurt so bad some runs I have tears in my eyes. Due to what I believe is me waiting to long for new shoes and running with extra weight.. So here is my next production line step: 

New nike shoes: KT tape: phone band: and all together we get what I believe is the GOOFIEST thing running down the road anybody has ever seen! 

PRODUCTION!! It's insaine what goes into getting this running, milking, cow out the door and onto pavement.

BUT......but, I wouldn't trade it. This has been the most inspiring thing I've done since last years triatholon. My kids get to see their mom stay healthy, take care of baby, and be an example of TRYING. I have really GOOD running days and I have really BAD running days and I have days when I can't run at all! But I'm moving,I'm up, and I'm going, and most days I feel amazing for it! Keep it up moms- don't stop- walk it out- be encouraged- do your thing! 

Sincere heart

Last night when I was tucking the kids in bed, my 8 yr old daughter grabbed my kneck and held on tight as she started to speak with tears in her eyes. 

"Mommy I'm so very grateful for all that you do, you love us so much and I love you. And God loves us even more! You are a wonderful mommy."

I told her that mommies need to hear that every once in a while and that she just filled my heart so much. We talked about just how Amazing Gods love is for us and  how Big it is and we will never really truly understand it. 

She began to thank me AGAIN, for God answering our prayers about having another baby and then when He answered her prayers and it was a girl. 

I walked away knowing, that this year in my daughters life she has seen Gods hand in a way that she is understanding His love for her. That her desires and hearts prayers matter to Him. 

She followed her daddy into her brothers room and shared a similar heart with them, when I came in they were finishing their prayer time together and my oldest son Judah said with tears in His eyes "mom can I pray for the baby?" I said of course you can... So he prayed protection and health and wholeness and Gods timing on her delivery. 

My youngest son then wanted to pray too- his 5 yr old heart came out and he prayed his best big brother prayer over his little unborn baby sister, that she would not being bullied and that he'd love her FOREVER and protect her everyday. 

I have to tell you I went to bed with a very full Love tank and a peace in my spirit that only God can give. My children are learning how to trust God, in the big things and in the daily living of life. This is the greatest gift we could ask for. 

-Be praying with your kids, speaking with them about the Lord, they won't learn what they need to know about Him by attending a 30 min class once a week at Sunday school. They learn by watching and listening, and doing. Be an example, be real before them just as you should be before the Lord.... Let them see how much our Heavenly Father cares for us and wants to sit and talk with us. He LOVES us sooooo much that at our greatest and softest we can't touch how much His love is for us. 

This baby will be entering my family soon.  A family that desired her and prayed for her years before she actualy came about. I know that we are learning so much together because of her and what she will be in our family. We are determined, and crazy, and funny, and BUSY, and loving, and we love her already! 

God bless you today! 

 

Malachi and mommy

As a parent our days are LONG.... But as a stay at home mom I believe my days are a blessing. And these are a few of the moments I get to be apart of because of it. 

Baseball games in the rain.

Kitty cat play dates at friends houses 

Stealing moms phone for a selfie! 

Crashing on the couch just because! 

He's the baby and even though we are expecting number in a matter of weeks I feel like he'll always be my baby boy, my Ky, my best buddie. We've had to much alone time for him not to be. Words can't express how much being his mom means to me or how it feels. They grow so fast and I just want it to slow down! 

I love you my buggy...... 

Moms day out

Ok let's be real, EVERY mom needs some alone time. And I'm not saying grocery shopping without kids, I mean ME time! It's needed, it's how we refuel and get ready for the next dayssssss. Well over the last year or so I have taken this responsibility seriously and have also seen the wonderful effects of my alone time. Ok by alone I mean with my Best friend or friends. By alone I mean WITHOUT KIDS OR SPOUCES. 

So as my friend and I were out shopping with our combined three kids and a pregnant belly ( two of my kids were in school) my youngest at the time, 5yr old Ky announces he has to go potty, then OOPS I need to go again, then Mom I have to go potty again! All three bathroom trips while shopping at Ross and in less than 15 min. I decided it's time to call this trip OVER. I have a feeling this will not end well if we keep on. So we climb back into the car. by climb I mean take 10 min to buckle and fit my belly into the crowded three car seat middle of the small suv, and we're off towards home, skipping the lunch at Taco Bell we had planned THANK GOD! Because less than half way home this same said 5yr old announces he doesn't feel so good, and we ask "do you need to go potty again or does your tummy hurt?" His tummy hurts he says, ok I'm a little nervous but it'll be ok,right? NO!!!! 

One minute later he is vomiting all over himself, the car, he can't stop! Driver has pulled over on the side of the busy country hwy and I, mom who am pregnant, am also now gagging and slightly throwing up due to said belly baby as I'm grabbing him and his vomit covered body out of the car as FAST as I can. Now he anonouces he needs to go potty too! 

OH....MY.....GOODNESS.....  this has to be the worst thing ever! So I wrap his naked shaking, sick body in my best friends cardigan ( the only piece of clothing left in the whole car NOT covered in vomit) and I carry him 30yrds to the woods at the side of the road and help him go potty .  Ok, now we know we have to get back in the car drive another 15-20 min home and get this kid in the bath.

 Mean while baby screaming in car seat, toddler asking why Kys crying, best friend is cleaning Her car of all vomit and I am helping little sick barely standing boy back in the car;( 

Poor guy, worst sick story of my mom life and I've experienced some whoppers.  Needless to say a day down and some hydration ahead I had to share my oh so true life event with you all. 

 

I must tell you though, that before all this I was able to purchase the desired nursery rug for baby number four! So it's kind of a win for the day?! 

Good night and God bless! 

Father of mine

 I've contiplated writing this many times and I'll be saving it when I'm done before I post just to be sure. Please excuse the fact that will probably be jumpy and LONG. But it's one of the biggest stories of my life. I wanted to write about a journey I had a few years back, that shook my whole world and left me closer to my father than ever before.  

 When I was 10 years old I remember my mom asking me to come sit outside and talk to her, I had NO CLUE what was coming.... She continued to tell me that the man I had grown to know as my father was in fact NOT my biological dad. I can't tell you all the details from that day cause I honestly don't remember them. What I do remember is being so overcome with questions and instability that it has taken me over 20 years to be completely OK with myself, my story, and my father. 

I was a good teenager in my opinion:) didn't get into trouble, didn't party, do drugs, drink or hang with people that did. I had crushes and LOTS of them, but growing up in a Christian home and attending 12 years at a private small town Christian school kept me in a bubble of protection and grace. Obviously I wasn't perfect and I kissed the boys and held their hands and I LONGED  for affection and attention. By the time I was in HS I barely talked with my parents outside of the bare minimum " hi, how are you, how was your day, did you win the game?" We were two ships passing in the wind... And I knew i was lost, looking for love and a mans affection.  I say all this because I KNOW it matters. Every younge women, little girl, teen, needs a Godly man in her life to validate her, lift her up, protect her and teach her what a respectful man looks like. 

Somehow, (by Gods grace alone) I fell in love with and married my HS sweet heart. He's a godly man who loves me and the family we have created. He is the definition of the father I could only dream of for our daughters and sons. 

Throughout the years of my life dreamt and wrote letters and considered what my biological father would be like, look like, act like. Did he know me? Did he miss me? Did he look for me? Questions I never felt like I had the freedom to ask growing up and it left me with a huge open whole! A big part of me was missing answers and with each child I had the privilege of birthing I felt like those questions grew and grew. Do they look like Him? Is he tall? Is he healthy?   

I was given His name and rough age range by my mother as the years had gone on, so every other year or so I would try an online search or call system that always got me to a page where I had to pay money to go further, money I didn't have and didn't want to spend on the unknown. 

December 2009, I realize in a random thought that Facebook is where people reconnect all the time!! It's how families stay connected and people stay in contact. So I had my mom look, find, and write a message to the man behind the story. 

-SHE FOUND HIM

-HE DIDNT RESPOND

- my dreams were crushed!!

Then it accured to me, maybe he doesn't get on Facebook very often, maybe he's married or has kids that do? I found this said wife, and messaged her, less than 10 min later I received a message back! 

- HOLY FREEK OUT MOMENT!!

- HE WAS REAL! 

She asked if they could call and talk ? I thought I was gana have a panic attack, I'm not sure I didn't have one. I responded and he called! We talked for over an hour, he answered every question I ever had, he told me about his life and how absolutely different it was from the home God had given me. I realized then that the Lord had placed me right where I belonged! That His plans were so much higher than my plans. 

Bio dad and I made the best out of a very long and distant relationship and for three years we called, texted, face-booked, and made plans for a face to face visit . But in those three years I also learned more about my life, my bio dad, my mom, and my father here in my life. I came to respect the decisions he had made for me, the things He did to fight for me, and thanked the Lord for placing me with my family dispite the loss I felt for so long. 

Last spring exactly a year ago, bio dad called and said he was coming! Bought his plain ticket and this was going to happen. 

- PANICK AGAIN

- IM NOT READY FOR THIS! 

But even through my fears I knew God was with me, my husband was beside me, and God had a plan. I trusted Him and prayed everyday for His peace to overwhelm me. I had decided that this was a make or brake point in our relationship and in my life. Being torn between respecting and learning to love a man who gave me life vs a man who raised me and gave me a home. I couldnt help but constantly feel torn between the two. 

The week of bio dads arrival we confirmed his reservations at a near by b&b and our plans to get to know each other then introduce my family and friends. We had a PLAN. 

The Morning of the event he doesn't get on his plain, he doesn't text, he doesn't call, he doesn't explain, he doesn't COME! 

I've not heard from Him once, no explanation, BUT..... I have what I need. My family, my father, and MOST of all I have and always have had my HEAVENLY FATHER! He never abandoned me, He never left me, He was always there, always had me surrounded with faithful friends and family. He placed me in a godly home, in a godly school, with a godly man. 

So many crazy things have happened in my life and my parents are not married anymore I have other siblings and Inlaws, and step parents. I've gained and lost someone I always thought I needed only to realize everything and everyone I ever needed I ALREADY HAD! 

I was hurt, I cried a little, being abandoned as a child and again as an adult hurt, but I was never alone. And eithe rare you! 

I don't know who this might reach or if anyone but me needed to read it, but God knows who we are, what we need, where we will go and how to get us there. He will never leave you or forsake you! Lean on Him, trust Him, and know He will make the path straight, He will make a way. 

My kids were saved from the pain of this loss and experience because the Lord had me keep them seperate from it from day one. I've learned to hear His voice on my families behalf and to trust He sees more than I do.  Be blessed today and for always-