Awkward and Awesome!

I'm going to totally steal a friends blogging title (www.jodalamode@blogspot.com) because as I've been sitting and thinking about what to tittle my blog today and it's the only thing that captures it well. You'll probably think I'm crazy when we're done but OH WELL....😜

Hello! My name is Cassi and I am a wife and mother of four beautiful children, my fourth child was born just 6wks ago. It was by far my most amazing, enjoyable, healthiest pregnancy and delivery of all my kids. I have intended to blog about that, but have been to busy. But back to our story today, this past week I had a post partum appointment scheduled for an IUD placement. I have had this same IUD four other times and have had no issues with it, I have also had the same doctor for the last ten years and wouldn't trade her for nothing..... My appointment was un eventful. Everything went as planned and I put my pants back on and headed down the street to grab diapers at Target (I am in love with their Up&Up brand). 

Let's be real, who goes into Target and only gets the ONE item they have on their list?! Not me, not you. So my cart pretty much looked and felt like this. 

As I was wondering around in each department, I started to feel little drips in my panties😁😳 I felt like a pregnant person and texted my two best friends making fun of myself for obviously having an issue post birth that I hadn't dealt with during pregnancy. I continued to wander the store and with each step I felt more drips and they got heavier, I honestly thought that they had broke me and I was uncontrollably peeing my pants, let's just saw AWKWARD! I have a cart full of random and important objects, a car seat with a sleeping newborn, a diaper bag and boxes of diapers, my cart was full and my mind was frazzled. Did I think to leave the cart and go to the restroom? NO I did not, I don't know why, I just didn't. What I was thinking was OMG this is embarrassing, I'm peeing my pants and everyone is going to see and I have no where to hide. So I did what all women would do, reach my hand down to feel just how wet I really am.. My fingures were bloody, 😩 why didn't I think of that! Now I'm mortified. I have to weave my way to the front of the store and pay and leave asap. But as I get there and I'm standing in line I can not stop the flow that I feel dropping. This is AWKWARD, AND CRAZY. So again like any silly girl would do, I ask the cashier for help, PLEASE can you grab me some yoga pants from the section right behind us, I'll pay anything, I just can't move! So she has a manager come help her (she wasn't allowed to leave her station) and I pay for my cart full of UN NECCISARY items before I head to the bathrooms. Bathrooms that are NOT designed for a shopping cart full of items and baby car seats😳 but I have no choice, so I stand in line for the biggest stall and wait......

 What I find is startaling. I'm hemoraging. Bleeding uncontrollably, blood clots and in scary amounts. So I clean up, change into my new yoga pants and head out the store. Baby is now screaming, it's her lunch time, I'm now slightly freaked out and I unload all of target into my car, grab the baby, feed her, and call the doctor. They of course say please safely find a way back to us. I call my amazing husband who stays on the phone with me till I arrive at the doctors office where they determine that I am indeed bleeding, but can't find why, or from where. My IUD is taken out and I'm asked to lay down till the bleeding stops. After two hrs it doesn't stop, so they determine that I need to go tot the ER where they can help me if further help is needed while my body calms down. 

While in the ER I continue to loose huge amounts of blood, while talking with the nurses and doctors, feeding my baby, and making arrangements for my other children who I will now not be home on time to help after school. Though many people came in to inspect and help, no one was able to determine what was wrong nor help it stop, I was then asked to sign papers for an OR (operating room) procedure, they said it would take one hr, then an hr in the recovery room and home we would go! 

Sweet, home sounds great. 

While I was in the OR, I underwent three procedures instead of one, and I was under for three hrs instead of one. My husband had the baby and had to endure the scariest moments of his life, for that I am sad. The doctors had to explaine to us the next day in recovery that they have no clue WHAT exactly happened, they only have a guess that my IUD nicked an artery or vessel on my uterus, but they have no way of knowing for sure. They tried two different balloon systems and a DNC while in surgery, non of those procedures worked and they finally were able to stop the bleeding with what they described as "toothpaste" and some carterization. I was informed that this is all very delicate and unknown and they're hope is that I will scab over and heal on my own, but the chances of busting open in the next few days was possible, and with that they gave me the AWESOME miracle of living and being on the hospitals "watch list" my name is on the boards and all the doctors have been informed of what to do if I come in again. The lord spared my life on Thursday September 10th, 2015. I was somehow completely coherent and receptive, breastfeeding, and talking while I was bleeding my body's amount of blood and no one was aware of how serious it really was until the end. I've been placed on strict bed rest in hopes that my "toothpaste" will hold😁 I get to be home with my family and continue to be the mother to my beautiful children. Although I am having some slight side effects of going through this, overall it's nothing compared to what it could have been. 

 That is my AWKWARD & AWESOME! The moral of the story is that I'm not allowed to get an IUD and now it's up to my hubby to "fix" the baby making issue😜 

I believe having Charlie with me helped my body: 

- nursing causes your uterus to contract which helped bring it into line

- having a baby that relied on me every three hrs kept my focus on her and feeding and not on being scared or nervous at all. 

My boring and dark recovery room, where I got monitored every hour through the night.

The labor and delivery newborn bed we had to borrow for Charlie to sleep in. 

The funniest part is that she's still so little that everyone kept congratulating us on having a baby👏 I guess a mom in the hospital and a newborn can make you think that. 

Today while we sit in bed and recover together, she smiled for the camera. 

We serve a BIG God, and His provision for my family is very anything short of what we need. Blessings on you today!